New Years Resolutions and Regrets

Do you make New Years Resolutions? This year, I’m taking a leaf out of the book of Rebecca from Artemis Mindset Coaching, and not bothering. Or rather, I’m making changes but not thinking of them as NY Resolutions.

[perfectpullquote align=”full” bordertop=”false” cite=”” link=”” color=”” class=”” size=””]But… I don’t really believe in New Year Resolutions.
We can do better than that.
We can do better than signing up to a gym and going three times.
We can do better than going 3 days cigarette free then just having the one.
And we can do so much better than randomly deciding that January the 1st is going to be the start of a whole new you.[/perfectpullquote]

I’ve never been good at NY resolutions. It wasn’t until Rebecca started coaching me last year, that I learned to plan ahead and visualise my goals, and to break these goals into shorter chunks. It’s so much easier to plan 3 months in advance than a whole year. And it’s so much easier to implement small changes that to try and re-arrange your entire life.

I’ve set my goal for the first three months of this year, and have a good idea of where I want to be in six months, and by the end of the year. My NY resolution isn’t a specific goal, but a promise to myself, to strive to do better. To continually assess where I am and where I want to go. To check my aim is still true, and to adjust if need be – one of the most important lessons of the past year has been to know when it’s time to stop. Not to give up, but to move on to something else.

[perfectpullquote align=”full” bordertop=”false” cite=”” link=”” color=”” class=”” size=””]Not making a ‘resolution’ means I will not feel like a ‘failure’ because I haven’t done my 10000 steps for two days this week?—?it means I have succeeded because I have for five. It doesn’t mean I’ve ‘failed’ because I gave up the German classes after two months because work got too busy?—?it means I’ve succeeded because I took two months of German classes and can now order beer, wine and sausages in German![/perfectpullquote]

Earlier this week, I read this great post from Ermintrude, which really resonated with me. When we set unrealistic targets it is easy to feel that we’ve failed. We’ve given up. Instead of being pleased with the achievement, we hanker after the big prize. We look in sadness at the gold medal, while ignoring the bronze medal dangling from our neck.

Moving on, starting over, adjusting our target isn’t ‘giving up’, and it isn’t failure. From every failed adventure, I’ve learned something valuable for the next one. I try to live without regrets, and look forward to the next phase in my life, rather than worrying about the missteps and mishaps of the past.

I love this quote from Elisabeth Edwards. It will be my motto for the next year. What will be yours?